taversham: (andi)
( 1 Jan 2020 00:00)
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Well, last time we were here, Jo and Olli were out jogging together. In show-time their jogging trip lasted over a week, so I don't think it's too disingenuous for me to have extended that to two months. It's important to keep fit and after all, health-wise there is no such thing as too much jogging, is there? Shut up, BBC.
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Anyway, they're back now, and today Olli is having a heart-to-heart with Charlie. Her best friend has just been kidnapped you see, which gives Captain Sensitive, Olli "let me selflessly prioritise everyone else's needs at the complete expense of my own" Sabel, you know, Mr Listening-to-other-people's-problems-is-my-crack the perfect chance to... insensitively blather on about his own shit with Jo. Oh. I should have expected that really, given in the last ep he started throwing around offers of grief-sex, but somehow I thought he would be a little more considerate of Elisabeth having been abducted. Instead he's all "But what about meeeeee? You must be wondering how Iiiiiiiii feel!"
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It's actually hard to convey in words exactly how self-centred Olli is behaving in this entire scene. It's a testament to Charlie that she doesn't slap him, really.
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Then Jo phones Olli, but Olli doesn't answer because he thinks it might make him look thirsty, and the "what? you tried to contact me? I did not realise, I have not ignored your texts or calls at all"-gambit did work pretty well for him last time. Charlie continues to show incredible restraint.

To avoid further pretend communication failure, Jo turns up in No Limits where they can interact face-to-face. I mean, only talking. Not the good kind of face-to-face interaction. Because they are being just-friends at the moment.
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There's no point you looking pissy about that, Jo (if that's what that expression is). It was your idea. Other ideas that Jo is suggesting are, going out for drinks, a meal, clubbing, or for another run. But Olli says the only place he would consider taking Jo is to a therapist, because it isn't normal for Jo to still be grieving so much for his dead boyfriend.
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Olli gets pretty ruthless once sex is off the table.

Sexy Dr Jo does actually want some sex though, so he does the only thing a soap character in his position could do.
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That's right, he propositions Bella in the lavatory. But Bella has been on this soap a lot longer than Jo has, meaning she knows that sleeping with her brother's love interest (again) would be an error, and to maximise her dramatic impact she has to immediately tell Olli.
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She should have made Olli come to her in the toilets, rather than going out to find him in the bar. The lighting there is so much less flattering to her pasty skin tone.
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Olli puts on his most confrontational capri-pants and goes round for a confrontation at Jo's place. His argument is basically "get a fucking grip (and then shag me please)".
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Whereas Jo's is "I keep telling you to stop and leave me alone, why won't you stop and leave me alone?". To which Olli says "sometimes when people say stop, they actually want you to keep going", which is why he got sacked as the prosecuting lawyer at Marlene's rape trial. Jo tells Olli that he just wants to be left alone with his fruitbowl full of grapes. Olli says that's not healthy - you can't get your five-a-day through just one fruit, and Jo points out that he's the doctor here, and then Olli leaves because he doesn't like being made to feel intellectually inferior (hence his carefully chosen friend-pool of Andi, Sascha and Emilio).
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Jo follows him to a field where he promises to try and be less condescending, but it's difficult, because he is Jesus. The he gives Olli a chance to show off his own medical skillz by piercing his own thigh with a glass bottle.
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I suppose Jo hasn't really seen Olli deal with situations where other people are in danger yet, so he doesn't know about Olli's habits of throwing everyone out of No Limits, dumping his boyfriend, standing very still, and flinging himself into swimming pools when confronted with stressful circumstances.
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On this occasion, Olli at least musters enough wherewithal to phone an ambulance and try and stem the bleeding. It might be too late for Jo though.
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That's right, he's joined Arno Snape Sam on the astral plane...
taversham: (leo sad)
( 31 Dec 2014 21:16)
Because of several reasons, both IRL and online, this blog will be going into hiatus for at least the next couple of months.

Let's be honest, it more or less has been for a while now anyway, but I thought it would better to be frank~ about it. I'm going to be taking an LJ break in general, and have turned off all email alerts, so if you PM me or leave a comment I'm not ignoring you deliberately. You can always contact me on Twitter or Facebook or email or wherever (details are on my profile).

VL subtitles will still continue on my Youtube channel. In the latest ep, Jo's inability to kiss on target worsens by the minute.

Seriously, Bella was so disconcerted by it that she flung herself in front of a car, so don't miss out on that.

I hope you all had the merriest of Christmases and I wish you the happiest of New Years :)
Behold my punctuality.

[livejournal.com profile] haruhiko asked:
Which former Verbotene Liebe characters would you like to see come back before the end? Also what sort of backstories/headcanons for the time they were gone and/or the reasons they came back?

This is a difficult question, because on the one hand I don't think anyone should come back. The actors chose to leave, they shouldn't be able to swoop in at the end for some final glory. On the other hand, I want everyone possible to come back, because it's the last chance, and any/all of the characters deserve some kind of recognition. But as some sort of middle ground between "all of them" and "none of them", and also leaving aside the blanket approval I would give to absolutely any character coming back for the sole purpose of declaring their love for Olli, here are the Top Five specific characters I would really like to see back.

After Matthias dies in a tragic diving accident of the coast of the South Island, she is accused of insurance fraud and so flees back to Germany with adorable baby Christina who is probably adorable primary-school-age Christina by now. Because of Christina, Sebastian arranges for her to live at the castle where she causes tension between Ansgar and Alexa because Ansgar still loves her really. She also has a go at Andi for running Brandner Bau into bankruptcy, and he's so ashamed that he runs away to live in Azerbaijan and no one ever hears from him again. She has a brief affair with Olli. But that's just a stop gap, because ultimately she gets together with...

Adorable, precious Consti. He returns from Spain to have a brief affair with Olli, but when he realises Nathalie is back too, he has to be near her. They try and rekindle their love through language lessons again, but because Consti can speak Spanish himself now, Nathalie has to try and teach him a New Zealand accent. Thus hes tirrible ruselts end hi losus hus jorb es en untirpruter whin hi bucomes uncapable of talkung iny other way, aach aaf Duitsch. In order to support Consti during his time of unemployment, Nathalie cons Ansgar out of all his money, meaning she and Consti can run away to live their dream life on the Mediterranean.

Hearing that Constantin was back in town, Judith returns too, but sadly for her she arrives on the day he and Nathalie leave. She has a brief affair with Olli to help her get over it, during which time she becomes acquainted with recast Rebecca. The pair of them bond over their shared job as designers even though they work in very different fields, and work on a joint project to create a building in the shape of a dress. Rebecca falls in love with Judith, who after an episode's worth of slight confusion realises that, although it would be much more in character for her to spend 8 months dithering on this, she loves Rebecca too and they would be an awesome couple.

After it turns out that Hagen actually was still a complete nutjob and he murders Dana and Ricardo in their sleep, Jessica returns to Dusseldorf with Maxi. In search of comfort, she has a brief affair with Olli, but they both decide they would prefer to be friends. She moves back into the flatshare, where she bonds with Tim and they get together. His new role as a quasi stepdad makes Tim grow up a bit, and the Helmke family all reconcile because they love their adorable new nephew/grandson, and bond over spoiling him rotten.

After Leonie cheated on him in Paris with a really ugly hairy fashion designer who moved there this summer, Timo returns to Dusseldorf. He is horrified to see how much Emilio has changed, and consoles himself by having a brief affair with Olli. He hasn't given up on Emilio though, and pays for Emilio to get is tattoo changed back to say "Timo" again instead of "Kim". New badass Emilio doesn't care about proper tattoo aftercare though, and develops septicaemia after the tattoo gets infected. Timo has to nurse Emilio through his illness, and during this time Emilio realises what an idiot he's been. They admit their love for each other, have sex, and then Timo buys Emilio a new Barno for them to run together.

...I'm frankly aghast that Uncle Lars didn't make my list.

What about you lot, who would you bring back? Why/how?
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today we find out that it's been exactly 2 years, 10 months, 18 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes and 10.3 seconds since Sam was killed by homophobic thugs. The perfect timing - not so long ago that it seems weird for Jo to be still caught up in it, but long enough that in principle people encouraging him to move on won't necessarily look like insenstive bellends (...but we'll see how they do in practice).
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Olli deals with this situation the only way he knows how, he offers to talk about it. Jo's not keen on that, and he likes Olli's second suggestion of spending the night together even less. (To be fair, Olli doesn't ever say anything about sex. But he doesn't deny it when Jo interprets his offer that way, when a "I just thought you might not want to be on your own right now" would have easily corrected any misapprehension, so I think we can just assume that Olli has had such a sensitivity-failure today that he genuinely responded to "my boyfriend died" with "let's fuck". Olli's really not at his most sympathetic lately.)
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Olli goes home to find vampire!Bella drinking blood in his pub. (Do they have to shoot her with lighting that makes the comparisons to Molly Weasley and/or Rebekah Brooks nigh on inevitable?)
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No, sorry, it's just tomato juice. Which she inexplicably got a craving for in the middle of the night to the extent that she had to break into No Limits to steal it. (My money's still on Sascha being pregnant.) Conveniently this means she's available to listen to Olli's woes again.
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He thinks he's blown everything with Jo, but Bella says it'll all be fine. Like her and Andi.
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I can see it in your face, Bella, that even you know that that is theleast reassuring thing anyone could possibly say. It's up there with "he hasn't murdered anybody for ages" and "honestly, I do love you".

Jo meanwhile is back to his usual position of sitting and being sad about Sam while that stock music that always reminds me of Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA plays.
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And obviously he's reading the letter again. This time he's even doing it aloud, not just in voice-over! (I did ask for more variety in those scenes, and I can't say the show hasn't made any effort.)

The next morning, Jo pops by No Limits. He has his big brave boy mask back on (joke about how he should be wearing a real mask has been redacted because it's harsh to make fun of his looks while he's doing emotions...) and he apologises to Olli for how badly things went yesterday. Olli tries to apologise too, but Jo is very understanding and tells him it's fine.
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I don't know why either of them are apologising, it was all Tim's idea really, and in what world is 7 people a party?
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Jo wants to accept Olli's offer from last night. The chatting, not the sexing. He wants Olli to know all about Sam. Sam was a doctor, a better doctor than Jo because he sometimes went whole minutes without mocking any of his patients, and never nearly injected any of them with poison. They met 8 years ago, at the hospital where they worked together. Jo's mum was opposed to the relationship because she was opposed to any relationships after Harro left and broke her heart. But Jo couldn't fight it. The day Sam died was their fifth anniversary. Sam wanted to prepare a surprise meal but forgot the wine so went out to get it, and while Jo was on the phone with him asking where he was he got attacked by some homophobes and they killed him. Sam called out for help, but no one came, and by the time Jo arrived it was too late. Olli is the first person Jo has told, because he reminds him a bit of Sam.
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Meanwhile Bella appears to steal more beverages, but notices that Olli and Jo are having a private, personal conversation so decides to stand in the doorway and listen instead. Although she will later claim that this is not eavesdropping, I'm fairly sure this is eavesdropping.
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Olli asks if he and Jo can be friends after all. Jo doesn't know, and leaves :(

At the hospital, Bella is having a another appointment for her back because she needs another injection. Just before Jo is about to shove a needle into her, Bella thinks this would be a good time to mention Jo's dead ex.
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This throws Jo off a little. After all, he thought he had told Olli in confidence, he'd finally let his guard down and placed his trust in someone after nearly three years of keeping everything bottled up, and now some random other person suddenly knows all about it. That's got to freak you out a bit.
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Which is why he nearly injects Bella with cyanide instead of morphine.

Unfortunately The nurse notices in time and stops Jo, so Bella goes back to No Limits to share her woes with Olli.
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Unfortunately for her, his reaction is "poor Jo", and mine is "shame the mix-up was noticed so soon", so she's not getting much sympathy today. I mean, what the hell was she thinking, talking to Jo about something that clearly he had discussed with Olli in confidence. To be honest, I don't think Olli should have told Bella about Sam in the first place, but when most of her information came from listening in a doorway... Not cool, Bella.

Later Olli goes for a run, and he happens to see Jo coming in the other direction.
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He stops to say hello, because he wants them to be friends, but Jo just runs past and completely blanks him. This makes Olli sad.
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For all of five seconds until Jo comes back and wants to run with him and be buddies after all, it seems.
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taversham: (judith smile)
( 8 Dec 2014 04:11)
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today, Tim has decided in his infinite wisdom adorableness, that the Brothers Helmke need to honour their commitment to spending more time together. His plan is that everyone should throw a surprise party for Jo.
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Initially he plans to only invite people who've slept with Jo, but that limits the guest list to Olli, Bella and Frank, so he broadens it to people who would like to sleep with Jo, and then at least Andi and Sascha can turn up too. It's still not going to be much of a crowd, because Olli doesn't want to go.
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He vents his feelings to Bella, about how he's still not over Jo, and he can't be just friends with someone he's in love with. Bella tries to tell him to follow her and Andi's example of how being friends after a relationship can work really well, and Olli gives himself a hernia from laughing so hard. This is another reason why having Olli sharing his feelings with Bella is ridiculous. It should be Olli and Andi, they're on the same page. And then it could be Jo and Bella bonding over how just because they treat people like crap sometimes, doesn't mean they're bad people.
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Jo is at home with his bag o' Sam again, and really not in the mood to party. He's more in a mope-y grieving state of mind, such has been his wont of late. (I really think the show could have added some variety with these scenes. I feel like I have subtitled the same three lines from that letter 800 times at this point. Would it not be somewhat more realistic to have Jo dwell on a letter that Sam wrote to him? Obviously that wouldn't have the dramatic juxtaposition of Jo's promise to neverever ever love another man like he loved Sam while his feelings for Olli are growing. But surely it's Sam he misses, not his own words to Sam, and you could still have that affect by having Sam's letter quote Jo in some way ("when you promised me you'd never love another man the way you love me, I knew that you were the..."). It would make Sam feel more real if we could have heard his voice either directly or indirectly, and anyway, we've had that one letter a million times, there would really be room for two or more. Or have Jo visit places that remind him of Sam - where they had their first date, where they met, Sam's grave, where Sam died. Other storylines move on so fast, yet for this one we have to sit through the exact same scene over and over again. I get that part of it is that Jo only lets himself mourn in private, but still... Or at the very least we could have had Jo reading/writing some sort of diary addressed to Sam, so that the content would vary somewhat. This would also let the audience see more of Jo's feelings than just having a voice-over of the same two lines and seeing Jo weep, which is repetitive and not terribly insightful. More pathos is never a bad thing. ...'Pathos' and 'juxtaposition' in one paragraph, seems like my English Literature AS-Level paid off after all.)
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Anyway, Frank interrupts my rambling and Jo's grieving in order to ask for Jo's help buying a cross-trainer. I feel like a professional detective should be able to come up with a better cover story than that, though given his main job lately has been (ineffectively) preventing anyone (else) gaining access to Elizabeth, maybe he's out of practice. It doesn't matter - Jo's mind is so addled by having read the same words over and over again that he doesn't even think to raise any questions like "but Charlie's flat is the size of a shoebox (by soap standards), where will you put it?" or "but you're so fit already, if you work out any harder you'll just make the rest of us look bad".
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Jo leaves with Frank, and also leaves a DVD of a sappy lovefilm on the floor. Remember this, this is important for later. You know that because they showed a close-up of it on screen for about ten minutes, and I've screenshotted it.

With the flat empty, Tim, Bella, and Olli (who agreed to come after all) seize the opportunity to start setting up for the party which will be a fabulous surprise for Jo.
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"Wow. My brothers whom I don't much like, a woman who hated me last I heard, a guy who said we should stay out of each other's way and not be friends, a guy who my only interaction with has been when he threatened to punch me for sleeping with his girlfriend, and some guy I sat near once."
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Jo is clearly overwhelmed to see all the people he cares most about in the world in one room together like that, so he leaves to go...anywhere else.
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Olli follows Jo outside. (D'aww, Tim giving Sascha a balloon (actually, Tim giving Sascha Olli's balloon...whatever that's a euphemism for).) He tells him to stop breaking everyone's heart like this, and Jo says "I was happy for us to keep having meaningless sex and you turned me down, so don't talk to me about rejection!"
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Somehow this ends with Jo deciding he will come to the party after all.
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Cue lots of affectionate Jo/Olli dancing and so on, while the other people in the room find it cute (Bella) and worrying (Frank). Frank then realises that even with Jo and Olli out of the picture, it's still four straight men and only one straight girl in there and he doesn't fancy those odds, so he excuses himself to run off to the castle and masturbate while sniffing Elizabeth's underwear. Bella tells him she didn't need to know the specifics.
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Soap's awkwardest hottest threesome decide it's time for them to go as well.
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And I think we're meant to assume that Tim left at some point too, because suddenly Olli and Jo are alone. Jo asks him to stay the night. Jo wants meaningless sex, Olli wants meaningful sex and clean dishes
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As a compromise they decide to watch a film.
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But completely unexpectedly, Olli picks the DVD that Jo left out earlier. Jo is upset by this because he doesn;t remember having left it out earlier and accuses Olli of going through his stuff, because he always keeps the DVD hidden away in his sac magique. Olli says he found it when they were setting up the party and he didn't snoop through anything. Jo tells him to get out.
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Olli then picks the worst possible moment to suddenly have a colossal bout of uncharacteristic insensitivity. He starts talking endlessly abut how all break ups are hard, especially divorces like his, but you have to get over it, and life goes on, and he's sorry if Jo got dumped but it's not like anyone died, etc, etc, etc.
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I don't condone violence, but I couldn't really hold it against Jo if he'd given Olli a slap in this scene to be honest. (...I can also see Olli's point of view, he's annoyed about how he's been treated, but he's jumped to a false conclusion, made assumptions of the back off it, and then used it to moralise at Jo about a very painful topic, which is not a good look.) Thankfully Jo takes the more mature option.
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Finally, he tells Olli about Sam.
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today, the episode starts brilliantly. Olli angrily bursts into Jo's flat...
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...takes off his clothes...
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...and gets into bed.
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Wait, no, I was accidentally watching the scene in rewind. This episode starts terribly as Olli wakes up in bed alone, puts his clothes on, and angrily storms out of Jo's flat. This is because Olli was expecting things to be totally different after Jo's sleep-driven "confession" last night, but the only difference is that Jo isn't even providing breakfast anymore, and that was always an essential part of their Affäre. Olli tells Jo that if he leaves now, he's NEVER COMING BACK. And Jo says "bye, then".
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Jo does briefly nearly chase after him, but he gets distracted by the sight of himself in the mirror. (You know how they say the more symmetrical a face, the more beautiful it is... Anyway.)

At LCL Bella has to listen to yet more whining. Olli, you could have at least gone home to change your clothes first - partly because they must stink a bit by now, mostly because they probably have rules about double-deniming at LCL.
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Bella says "just get over him", and Olli says "but Jo is so brilliant and perfect and deep, and he's just been hurt so badly, that's why he won't let himself feel anything for me and treats me like crap 90% of the time, underneath it all he's my perfect man and I can't let him go, gosh, Bella, I think he's the one... #Jo Helmke, say it loud and there's music playing, say it soft and it's almost like praying, Jo Helmke, I'll never stop saying Jo Helmkeeeee#"
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So Bella pretends she has a phonecall.

Snubbed, Olli goes off to see Charlie who provides a more willing ear for his troubles and West Side Story rewrites because she is more considerate, or because she's just more interested in gossip and/or musicals. I assumed Schneiders would be the sort of place where they don't let you wear jeans at all, let alone a whole outfit made of jeans, but I guess Olli is an exception, being the owner's nephew. She also gives him a free cake.
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When Jo shows up, Charlie goes all protective mama bear auntie bear, and tells him to leave, but Olli makes everyone be civil and says Jo should stay and eat there, just so long as he stays entirely out of Olli's line of sight.
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They have a little confrontation later. Jo says they should still be friends because they like each other, but Olli says he can't just forget about his feelings. Jo says it's fine, because he'll forget about Olli's feelings, and Olli says that is in no way what he wants, and Jo says you can't always get what you want, and Olli says he once met Mick Jagger on the cruise ship and he was much more emotionally open than Jo. Olli storms off again.
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And in a moment of unexpected vulnerability and mispayment of the bill, Charlie realises that Jo might not be as heartless and unaffected and arseholey and arrogant and harsh and cruel and egocentric and unfeeling and distant as he might seem.
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The next day there's some really boring stuff at LCL, the important thing is Olli kisses Sascha:
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The rest of this week is mostly just Andi/Bella/Sascha stuff, with Olli appearing occasionally to fulfil the role of friend-to-listen-to-Andi's-delusions-about-how-he-and-Bella-are-defs-gonna-get-back-together. This unlikely, because Bella has told Andi 1000 times that she's not interested any more, and also because she's getting it on with Sascha now.
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This is all top secret of course. Both of them are completely ashamed of the disgusting things they've been a party to, and the the dismay and betrayal that anyone who hears about this appalling act will feel. Plus neither of them wants Andi to find out in case he does something irrational like murder someone or throw all his Duplo in the river again. So when he nearly interrupts them a slight mishap occurs leaving Bella slightly injured. I'm not sure I can summarise it very well, so I'll leave it to this Youtube commenter:
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I hope that's all clear enough.
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Then Andi finds out about the sex, and decides this is an opportunity for a threeway.
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The other two are less convinced.

Incidentally, in real life, Marc Barthel (Tim) and Sascha Pederiva (Sascha) have been doing a TV diving competition (like Splash, but with less Tom Daley), which you can watch here. Here's a pic as a preview:

I'm not a diving expert, but I think Tim might be slightly better...
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Two weeks ago Today, Jo is being chatted up by this sexy little thing.
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I don't know why I say "little", he seems to be of at least average height. This is Jeremy, he fancies Jo and his mum has a car. That's pretty much all we know so far, along with the fact that he's confident, and forward, and good-looking. And he's into Jo, who gives him his number.
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Olli acts as witness to this event, and it seems like there's been some sort of miscommunication between Olli and Jo about what the word "Affäre" actually means, because apparently Jo thinks it means "fuck buddies" and Olli thinks it means "married" (...and I thought it meant "adulterous secret"), so Jo is pretty blasé about hooking up with another guy in front of Olli, meanwhile Olli goes into full on bitchy-wife mode. Which is good, because that's my second favourite mode of his, after naked, being spit-roasted by the Mann brothers lying-badly mode.
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It's slightly confusing, because apparently time passes off screen in which Jo is busy seeing a patient, and Olli is busy being given a balloon and sticker to commemorate his 40,000th eyebrow-graze check-up, but let's forget about all that and just assume that Jeremy is incredibly pushy so he phones Jo straight away. This leads to Olli assuring Jo that he's fine with Jo arranging to meet Jeremy tonight instead of him, and he's completely okay with Jo and Jeremy's date being in No Limits, and he is definitely not planning to poison Jeremy's drinks, nosirree.
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Jo is a doctor, so he is clever enough to tell that Olli isn't being 100% sincere. Other professions who would also be able to spot Olli's lack of sincerity: all other professions. Except whatever it is Andi does.

In my world it would be pretty awkward to go to your sister to complain about the man troubles you're having with a man who she herself was in love with barely a week ago. Given she hasn't travelled to Africa lately, I think we can assume Bella might have at least some residual feelings.
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That doesn't stop Olli though. He's all tact, that one. (The worst thing about Bella and Olli being friends again is him going to her for advice now - the scenes with Sascha were much cuter, would be much less heartless on Olli's part, and they both work in the same building now so it's not like he would have to make an extra trip...)
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Bella puts up with his whining admirably for 3 hours, when thankfully she is saved by the arrival of... Jeremy. Now there's a coincidink. Turns out he's an out of work model (explains why he made a quick move on the first doctor he saw [/bitchy]), and he wants LCL to consider him for their future campaign. After a moment of looking like a petulant toddler, Olli begins to consider him for something else.
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Jeremy recognises Olli but doesn't remember where from (which is weird, because I'd have thought that that jealous gaze would have become imprinted in anyone's mind). Olli tells him it's probably because of all the modelling he's done, and because he owns a bar, No Limits, and hey Jeremy, want to get a drink together there, just between colleagues, no ulterior motive at all, no poison, I promise.
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We have to add "out of work models" to the list of professions who won't see through Olli's lack of sincerity, Jeremy eagerly goes for a drink with him after he's found a parking spot for his car. Olli seems to put his murderous scheme on hold though, as it turns out he and Jeremy have a lot in common. They both had some relatives who were supportive about them being gay and some who weren't, they both have been in relationships in the past. They're basically twins.

Then someone has to turn up and play gooseberry.
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He's taken a leaf out of Olli's book, and is trying the passive-aggressive "no, you can take my date instead, that's fine, I'm quite tired anyway. I'll just be sitting over here in the corner, but try not to think of me as an oppressive supervising presence"-gambit. Jeremy finds the whole thing a bit weird, but is willing to roll with it.
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During one of Jeremy's bathroom breaks, Jo comes over for a chat with Olli in which they both try to play things cool and are both totally pathetic at it, and neither want Olli to go home with Jeremy but try to convey that to each other by saying how much they want Olli to go home with Jeremy. Idiots.
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Seriously, Olli is so flustered by the whole thing that he says "your place or mine?" unironically. But thankfully Jeremy is an out of work model, so that line works, and they go back to Olli's because it is right upstairs while Jeremy's place is a car drive away, and also it means they don't have to build another set.
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(...Jo Weil, your arse...)
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Meanwhile Jo is sad and jelly and miserably stares at the selfie Olli took on his phone.
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Which is weird, because I thought Jo's phone got broken when it fell in the lake during their fishing trip yesterday...
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Anyway, Olli gets cold feet, and backs out of things with Jeremy. And it's apparently time for one of those off-hand throw-away lines VL sometimes has that don't really matter and are just filler really, but nevertheless reveal an underlying attitude that I find slightly worrying, when Olli is all like "You're not angry, are you?". Mate, you shouldn't have to apologise for deciding not to have sex with someone.
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Jeremy isn't angry, because he's a decent human being, so he just wishes Olli luck and leaves. I hope LCL do hire him, Jelli OTP!
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Olli goes to see Jo, because he can't do this any more. He doesn't want an affair or to have one night stands with other people. He wants commitment, monogamy, 6 children and a holiday home on Ayia Napa.
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Jo says he can't give him any of that, but how about one for the road?
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It's not really possible to capture in pictures the brilliance of cutting to a random shot of some fireworks instead of actually showing a sex-scene...wait, did I say "brilliance"? I meant "bullshit". But at least it reminded me of The Naked Gun so I can't really complain.
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Post-coitally, Jo says "please don't leave me". Is Jo only saying that because he thinks Olli's asleep? Or is Jo asleep and dreaming of Sam? Or is Olli actually asleep and this is his dream? Did I dream this? I don't think I did. (Though last night I did dream that Lars was back and he was eating chocolate fondue and he had some on his face by his mouth, and Olli wiped it off with his thumb and said "Schoko-Lars-de", and then Lars reached over and started playing with Olli's hair. Olli/Lars OTP.)
taversham: (edward mic)
( 24 Nov 2014 22:39)
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] lennongirl and [livejournal.com profile] perhonen, becaue I like the sound of it:

Pick a date in December (01-21) and give me something to talk about. Give me a question or topic-- absolutely anything fannish goes: TV, movies, books, comics sports, fandom, ships, fictional characters, actors, writing, arting, whatever strikes your fancy!

(I replaced comics with sports because I basically never ever read comics, but I do watch a lot of tennis and football. You can still ask about comics if you really want, but it'll be a very short answer.)

If you're wondering where VL recaps are, then it's all Switzerland's fault for distracting me this weekend... But I have drafts, and I'll be back up to pace before you know it. :)

Dates taken )
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today/this week, Tim wore a tie-dye t-shirt.
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And Rebecca made them all have some foul cocktail which a dog invented. Olli is a terrible barman, because he actually followed her beer/coke/vodka/blue curacao/lime recipe, rather than just adding some blue food colouring to a caipi.

Later in the week, Tim got naked for Frank.
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Also in this episode, Frank adopted the name "little one" for Tim, so I don't know if that's a hint about anything... Anyway, after everyone was dressed, they invited Jo round so that they could reminisce about their father.
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Well, only Tim was reminiscing on purpose. The other two did it by accident, and once they realised what a terrible mistake they'd made they decided to leave and run off to seek comfort with Olli.
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Frank got there first, but Olli was busy cleaning glasses, which hurt Frank and left him vulnerable to be lured off to a surprise fishing trip in Düsseldorf's famous Honolulu district.
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Jo got tricked into it too. Frank thinks it's a terrible idea, and Jo gets to use his "for once I agree with you"-catchphrase for the hundredth time. It's almost as if the two of them actually agree about more than they disagree on. That really they have something in common. I think it's a shared psychicness, because the trip goes horribly wrong when the boat sinks, and they fall in the water, and all their phones get broken, and they have to warm themselves by the fire in case they catch pneumonia. (Because we're apparently seriously pretending it's November.)
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Blue lake and rocky shore, I will return once more... Or something.
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On the plus side, it give Jo a nice opportunity to check out Frank's arse.
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And it gives us a nice opportunity to check out the brothers' chests. Well, Jo and Tim at least. Frank is doing an am-dram performance of A Streetcar Named Desire next week and wants to get used to the costume.
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The boys all bond and get to know each other and decide that actually maybe spending time together isn't so bad after all, and maybe they could even do it again sometime. And then Tim gets back to Düsseldorf and finds out that their dad only faked his death for insurance fraud and is actually still very much alive and flirting with Charlie.
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(Has anyone been paying attention, how much younger is Tim meant to be than the other two? Obviously there's about a year between Frank and Jo, but after that? Definitely more than four, because that's when their dad left Jo's mum, and presumably less than the 18-20 years implied by the actors real ages... How old is frank meant to be in show? I feel like that must have been mentioned...not least because it was his birthday party a couple of weeks ago... And Tim?)
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today the show continues on the same day as yesterday again, which makes my starting every recap with "today" look increasingly incoherent, especially as I'm posting about 4 different "today"s all on the one today. Anyway, Jo is with Olli in No Limits.
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They each have their favourite drink, which if I understood Andi correctly means that Olli is back to liking women now. To try and put him back on the gay and narrow, Jo invites him back to his after his shift is over. Olli wants to take a photo to celebrate.
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It's weird seeing people take selfies on VL. It'd be like if my nana started using Tumblr (...no one give her any ideas, it's bad enough that my mum's on Facebook). Anyway, Frank comes into No Limits and what with Olli's daddy being dead, Frank takes on the role of protective papa bear and warns Jo not to hurt Olli.
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To which Jo basically says "I can hurt who I want, thank you very much, and Olli's a grown up who is perfectly capable of deciding himself whether he wants to get hurt.", which is encouraging... #teamjolli?
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Then Jo goes off in a strop and tells Olli to meet him at his place later, giving Olli and Frank the chance for a heart-to-heart. Frank just wants to look out for Olli, because his own experiences with Jo have all been so bad but Olli says that things between him and Jo are fine, and Jo's never promised him anything anyway. Frank spills the truth tea and points out that you can lead someone on without actually making any verbal promises, but if Olli wants to be an idiot and fall for it than that's his own problem.
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Except he phrased it more nicely than that, he is a tactful Uncle Policeman.

Upstairs, Sascha is resting because the morning sickness is really taking it out of him.
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Olli is a bit agitated because he's looking for some nice wine to take over to Jo's, but it turns out Sascha drank it all. All six bottles. (You really shouldn't when you're expecting, Sascha, it's not good for the baby.) This annoys Olli, so Sascha calms him down by telling him how cute he looks when he's in love. (You couldn't have realised that when he was in love with you, Sascha? Could have saved us all a lot of time and effort.)
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It turns out Sascha does actually have one of the bottles left, which he is willing to donate to the cause of getting Olli laid.
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And it's only slightly soiled!
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Suddenly, Olli gets a text from Jo saying actually he doesn't want to see him after all. (Remember what I said before about how when Jo isn't on-recap he's at home sobbing about his dead ex? That's what's happening now, so he's not being as much of a dick as Sascha assumes he is.) Sascha thinks Jo's being an arsehole, but he suggests Olli just pretends he never received the message and go over there anyway. Apparently this worked great with one of Sascha's exes who kept dumping him by SMS but ended up going out with him for 6 months because he said he never got them. I never knew Sascha was so pushy and clingy and manipulative...
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Olli turns down Sascha's high-five, but does follow his advice.

He turns up at Jo's place to do his best "what text message?" acting, which I cannot believe Jo is convinced by.
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He also gives him the wine that is drenched in only one of Sascha's bodily fluids, and Jo pretends that the smell is plausibly attributable to mould in the wine cellar. Olli changes the subject by pointing out how many CDs Jo has, which is kind of cute for 2014. We also know that Jo wasn't lying about being a real jazz fan.
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Only a true fan of jazz would have a CD actually called Jazz. His other CDs are Now That's What I Call Jazz, Top Of The Jazz, Jazzy Jazz Jazz-Jazz and Humphrey Lyttleton's Best Of Jazz. Jo puts on one of his favourite jazz CDs so that they can listen to the jazz, and overwhelmed by all the jazz, Olli needs a drink.
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One sip of wine is all it takes to break down Olli's already feeble effort of dishonesty, and he confesses to Jo that he did actually receive his text. Jo doesn't seem too fussed, he instead tries to convince Olli that Frank is wrong. Jo isn't a selfish heartless hedonistic egomaniac, he's just a bit shy.
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I'm not sure even he believes that. Olli tells him that if he ever wants to explain the reason for his ~shyness, then Olli will be happy to listen so Jo immediately runs off to get more wine. Leaving Olli the chance to notice something:
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The only photo in Jo's flat is of Jo himself, but he jusat said he isn't an egomaniac and the other half of the frame is empty... Olli deduces this must mean he went through a difficult break-up. Which isn't strictly untrue, but it certainly wasn't what Olli thinks.
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Buoyed by his new-found detective skills, Olli decides to talk at length about how hard his divorce was, and how his world was torn apart, and how it was the most terrible experience, and how hard it is to move on, but how maybe it was something he had to go through to make him appreciate things more all the while unsubtly nodding his head in the direction of the empty picture frame.
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At which point Jo doesn't scream "What the fuck would you know about loss, you idiotic bellend?!" in his face, which just goes to so what a strong and stoic man Jo really is to be honest.
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Instead he distracts Olli with some kissing.

At home, Sascha is sating some of his cravings while watching an awful quiz show.
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(This is genuinely my favourite moment on VL that has happened this year. It's like when Strangers With Candy got cancelled so that strip Mall could continue, and they made the final ep be about the school getting demolished to make way for a shopping centre. I am hoping for many more Quizduell digs as the show draws to an end.) Anyway, Olli gets home to talk about his date.
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Is that a new camera angle? I don't think we've seen stuff shot from that position before, why would they...
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Oh, so Olli can hit Sascha's leg. Alright, that's a good enough reason. Olli shares his theory about Jo's past with Sascha, who points out that this is all pretty speculative, but as long as Olli keeps his plan strictly to giving Jo time and not getting carried away, then things shouldn't go too wrong.
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Sascha finally gets his high-five.
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While back in his flat, Jo is trying to mournfully scrape his nipples off with a picture frame in an act of repentance.
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You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today, it's actually still yesterday. After finishing the make-over and accompanying Bella into work, Olli goes back home to see Jo.
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He thought Jo might have got bored and left by now, but Jo has been so busy playing Candy Crush on his phone that he didn't even realise Olli wasn't there.
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Olli able to distract him though, at least for the twenty minutes while he waits for his lives to refresh.
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They're just about to enjoy a nice post-coital coffee when Bella appears at the door. She has some tickets to a jazz show, and she thought Olli might like them. Bella can't go herself because she has her new job, and Charlie can't go because she's more into grunge, and Frank can't go because he's busy protecting Elisabeth's person with his penis, and Andi can't go because the only song he likes is Pop Goes The Weasel, and Emilio can't go because he needs to spend 3 hours a day brewing his special potion otherwise the enchantment will wear off and his conscience will grow back, and Jessi, Dana, Ricky, Hagen and Maxi can't go because it's a bit of a trip, and right after Bella had asked all of those people, she thought she could offer them to Olli.
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Olli is thrilled, and asks her in for a coffee. She declines. So he asks Jo to come with him to the jazz show.
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He declines. Olli is sad. Jo leaves.
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...You know what I was saying yesterday about Jo's kisses being slightly off target, I think he's getting worse, that's nowhere near his lips- Oh, perhaps that one was intentionally a cheek kiss. I'm not 100% convinced though.

Downstairs Olli asks Sascha if he'll come to the jazz show with him.
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Sascha says no because jazz is only for men who wear corduroy, asks why Jo isn't going, and Olli explains to him that they're only having an "Affäre", not a proper relationship, which means they're not allowed to see each other recreationally unless it's sex or breakfast related - they can't just see each other for fun. Sascha tells him that that's all backwards, during his own "Affäre" with Caro he had to go to six different jazz concerts before she'd even let him get to third base.
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They decide a second attempt at asking Jo out is in order.

At the hospital, Olli is having what I believe is his fifth check-up in two days for the tiny graze above his eye. You can just about see Bella in the background waving her hand around saying "see, I don't look so pathetic and needy now, do I?!".
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Olli uses this as an opportunity to try and persuade Jo to go to the jazz show after all. At which point I begin to want my Trigger Warnings for second-hand embarrassment again. Jo actually knows a lot about jazz. Olli is just pretending to know a lot about jazz. Cue lots of cringe-inducing "hilarity" for the rest of the ep.
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Jo does agree to go to the show though, once he hears the name of the musician (Meadow Books), so Olli is a happy bunny, and not at all suspicious about Jo's sudden change of heart. The moron.

Back at No Limits, Sascha is trying to help Olli learn a little bit about jazz so in preparation for his date. This is necessary, because Olli's entire knowledge of jazz is "jazz is a type of music" and the thing Sascha told him earlier about the corduroy.
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Together they studiously study Meadow Books' wikipedia page, and learn the album names and what awards he won and so on. If you're thinking "but if someone mentioned a musician to me that I'd never heard of before and needed to become informed about then the first thing I'd do is go to Youtube and listen to one of their songs" then Olli can't do that because of plot and/or GEMA.
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Sascha, acting as the voice of reason, says that maybe Olli shouldn't pretend to be someone he's not just to impress a guy.
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Olli tells him to stop being a jelly bear, Olli's relationship with Jo is completely different to his one with Sascha. Sascha says he just doesn't want to see Olli get hurt.
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Be still my beating heart.

Later at the jazz club, Meadow Books is a terrible musician, which Jo knows, but Olli doesn't, so Olli acts like he likes the music until he realises Jo is taking the piss and then they start giggling and they get chucked out and then they kiss. The end.
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No but seriously, that still looks a bit high... Anyway, Olli thinks Jo's going to run away and leave him now that the date is over, but Jo decides to surprise him by saying they should sped the rest of the day together, even though that just means watching Olli work behind the bar at No Limits. Olli is excited, and they leave with their arms around each other.
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(Forget kissing, they apparently can't even choreograph having their arms around each other without it looking like an awkward mess. One over, one under, boys!)
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today, Bella would like to make up with Olli. Well, actually she wants herself and Olli to stop being stupid and behaving like children.
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Which, I mean, is an interesting division of blame for the situation. In any case, Olli is also willing to move on because he misses her, and also he's running out of things in his bedroom to break so that he can orchestrate heart-to-heart convos with Sascha. He tells her he has something to confess though. Bella asks if he's slept with Andi and Olli is like "well, obviously, we've all slept with Andi" but also tells her that things aren't over between him and Jo.
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News which Bella is over the moon to hear, obviously. She has the courtesy to pretend to be okay with it though, and only show her displeasure through subtle hints like focussing on how weird and gross and awkward it is that she and Olli both slept with the same man and how he must constantly think about her when he's in bed with Jo, and offering him a shoulder to cry on when it inevitably all goes pear-shaped. "No, honestly, I'm very happy for you both, I'm just saying I heard he has herpes."
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Thankfully Sasha appears to distract everyone with his bushbaby impression. Then he solves Bella's unemployment woes by offering her a job at LCL. I've got to say, whilst I generally approve of the direction in which Elisabeth is taking the company, I think putting Sascha in charge of recruitment might not be the best of ideas. Not unless she wants the next collection to be modelled by Zlatko and Gringo. Anyway, Bella goes off to spend the rest of the day seeing how she likes things at LCL.

The next morning, and Olli is downstairs in No Limits even though Jo is waiting for him upstairs, because he needed to gaze into Sascha's eyes for a moment.
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While he's doing that, Bella appears.
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You know, there hasn't been a pregnancy story on VL for a little while...I think Sascha might be starting to show.
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Oh wait, now Olli's rubbing Bella's belly? It would be a bit much if they were both up the duff, wouldn't it? Anyway, Bella went for the job at LCL which was meant to be Sascha's as a handy man but instead she was offered the job as a receptionist and then Ansgar made some nasty jokes about how she dresses like a frumpy old grandmother and she needs to dress up nicer if she wants to be the face of LCL's reception. So Olli forgoes his morning fun with Jo, in order to give his sister a make-over. Personally, there's no world in which I would pass up the opportunity of sex in exchange for playing dressing-up, but then I'm not a gay man so maybe I just don't understand these things.
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Because Olli definitely seems into it.
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And the end result:
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Momentarily pausing my rule on not commenting on women's appearances: It's incredible how much better Bella looks with straightened hair. So new gorgeous Bella gets the job.
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Which is great news, because when has completely reinventing yourself and pretending to be someone you're not to please your chauvinist boss in order to get a position performing menial labour ever gone wrong?
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today, I should make clear that in general I have no intention of recapping Jo's scenes where Olli isn't there. Partly because I'm lazy, but also because it's mostly just him mourning and trying to come to terms with moving on from Sam, which even I find it hard to snark about. You can't even make ugly jokes about someone who's grieving, it's frowned upon. So shipping them with their younger brother at their time of greatest distress is probably right out. All this is me saying that there were some cute scenes between Jo and Tim in this episode (and the last, actually) but I'm not touching them. As a rule, you can simply assume that anytime Jo is off-screen (and/or off-recap) he is crying and whimpering while rocking back and forth in the foetal position.
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He's composed himself in time for his shift at the hospital to start though, where he meets a certain someone in the lift. He tries to start a friendly conversation with Olli about their disparity in leg-to-torso ratios, but Olli is still grumpy because of the catastrophic self-defence course incident.
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Jo is shocked and hurt to find out that Olli has rearranged his check-up appointment with one of Jo's colleagues, instead of with Jo himself. Which is fine, except HE TOLD YOU THAT IN YESTERDAY'S EP, JO. Jesus Christ, there are soaps about goldfish where the characters have a longer memory span than this. Olli tells Jo that he's sick of Jo acting like a total nutcase, and won't even let Jo explain why - a new low, Jo, because ordinarily Olli will eagerly listen to the problems of people he completely despises.
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Sneakily, Jo is able to orchestrate another chance with Olli, by trading a shiny Charizard, 400 Pogs, and the glamour model in Bay 6 with his colleague for the chance to treat Olli's headwound.
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After winning he Most Petulant Patient Of The Year Award (presented by Sue Barker), Olli is ready to leave. Jo tells him that whatever happened between them, Olli should still carry on learning self-defence so he can protect himself, and then tries to tell Olli about Sam...
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But in the end he can't, and just tells Olli that he didn't sleep well that day and he makes toddlers look like they cope with overtiredness well. Funnily enough, this doesn't exactly assure Olli that Jo isn't a lunatic so he leaves, and Jo chases him out to the lift to have a second go.
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Wisely he decides actions speak louder than words this time, and just kisses Olli instead. (Two comments: a) this kiss was much hotter in the slighting shortened version in the Preview, and b) Mickey Hardt is shorter than Jo Weil, so how come when they kiss it often looks like Mickey is aiming slightly too high?) But then Jo runs away straight after.

At home, Olli is in bed with Sascha. Or, on the bed with Sascha. I always get those pesky prepositions confused.
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Nominally, Sascha is trying to fix Olli's lamp, but really this is a classic VL girl talk. If it were Olli and Bella, Bella would be stroking Olli's hair, but Sascha is too manly for that so he has help Olli screw things into his worn out hole (hiya, [livejournal.com profile] haruhiko :-* ). Olli laments about how Jo is giving him mixed signals. Mixed, fucked-up signals. Meanwhile Sascha does that thing where, you know like if a few weeks before Christmas you go shopping with someone and they constantly say things like "oh, that's really nice, I love that *wink wink*" so you know what to buy them? Well, Sascha does that, but instead of suggesting Christmas presents he's telling Olli what the atmosphere should be like for when they have sex. Inside a lift with flickering lights is the info we have so far, if anyone else wants to make a seduction attempt, because Olli is too busy thinking about Jo to notice any of this.
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Sascha fails to fix the lamp, and he tells Olli that he will either need to get used to the flaws, or to buy a new lamp. Obviously this is meant to be a metaphor for Olli's relationship with Jo, but it's not a very romantic one, because obviously Olli should just buy a new lamp and not put up with the broken one. A broken lamp has no redeeming features. Broken Jo arguably does. Unless Sascha himself is offering to be the new source of illumination in Olli's life...

Jo turns up in No Limits to talk to Olli. He says he knows he's a bit fucked up, but he'd like to keep shagging Olli if that's okay.
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Olli tries to get a little more commitment out of Jo, but without saying "I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU" and scaring him off. Jo's not ready for a relationship, but he'll settle for something more casual. Olli agrees.
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Of course Olli's definition of casual seems to be "not getting married yet" and Jo's seems to be "just having lots of sex", but I'm sure that won't cause any problems later on.
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The next morning, Sascha gets to watch them say goodbye at the door.
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And then he has the pleasure of listening to happy Olli excited about how he's managed to persuade the man he's in love with to occasionally eat with him, rather than just fucking him. Sascha is slightly suspicious about this turn of events, either out of friendly concern or raging jealousy, depending on your view point.
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But really nothing can dampen Olli's mood today.
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He's in lurve.
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today Olli is happily harassing Sascha for money in No Limits, when suddenly Jo appears and wants to order a drink.
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Olli refuses to serve him, and further snubs Jo by arranging all of his follow-up appointments at the hospital with a different doctor and angrily editing the My Family section on the About The Owner page on the No Limits website to "I have only two uncles-in-law, not three, but if I did have a third one, he would be an obnoxious bellend".
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Sascha is smug because he's still on there as "sexy honorary brother", listed alongside "part-Weasley half-sister" (Bella), "reborn lingerie model aunt" (Charlie), and "adorable family pet" (Andi). But the real purpose of Jo's visit, other than ordering drinks with a guy who was rocking elbow-patches, is to try and convince Olli to attend a self-defence course.
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Olli doesn't say that he won't think about it.

Once the customers have gone, Olli tries to put on a performance of Me Ole Bamboo for Sascha, but has some problems with his props, so they decide to gossip a bit instead.
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Sascha wants to know if Jo's the guy who's caused all the problems Olli is having with Bella. Olli wonders how on earth Sascha could possibly know about any of that, and Sascha says that Andi told him. So I guess we're just forgetting that Olli had already told Sascha most of the story himself. Like, a week ago. In any case, Olli is willing to recap: Jo is an arsehole who just sleeps with whoever he wants, raises false hopes, uses them for his own pleasure, and then moves on to the next person.
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Sascha coughs awkwardly and quickly changes the subject. He thinks the self-defence course would be good for Olli, because Olli needs to be able to defend his self. Olli asks if Sascha could give him more karate lessons again so he could defend himself that way, but Sascha says that he's only qualified to teach man-on-wood karate, not actually useful karate.
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So with Jo and Sascha double-teaming Olli with their efforts of persuasion, he has no choice but to attend the course.

The next day, and it's off to a rocky start when it turns out that the course-leader of the course Jo recommended is Jo himself.
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I do like that Jo's response to Olli being attacked is that Olli needs to learn to protect himself, rather than Jo trying to be protective. If you compare it with Christian's reaction after Axel attacked Olli... well, they're completely different situations, Christian was more emotionally invested by that point and also Olli's injuries were much more serious, so his reaction was completely justified, but I still think it's nice that Jo is trying to empower Olli. That said, there must be more than one self-defence course in Düsseldorf, so Jo probably could have directed Olli to a different one, rather than using it as a chance to manipulate Olli into seeing him.
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But despite the rocky beginning, the course goes actually rather well. Jo gives a nice introductory talk which is vague enough to be applicable to anyone, but coincidentally exactly describes what happened to Olli, and he assures Olli that he just stay and watch if he doesn't feel comfortable.
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It actually goes so well in fact, that the group is able to take a moment out to rehearse their group performance of Stop Right Now for the No Limits Bunter Abend.
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Things take a turn for the worse however when Jo deliberately orchestrates for Olli to be attacked in the "the realest, most life-like way possible (disregarding the fact that you're holding a giant foam shield)", but then when confronted with the scene, loses all chill and attacks the "attacker".
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Poor guy on the right. That awkward moment when you go to a self-defence course and have to be defended from the defence-teacher by the guy you were just beating up.

Olli goes home to be comforted by Sascha. Sascha just got laid though, so he's more in cocky lad mode than sympathetic pal mode.
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But he tries his best, offers Olli some food, and listens as Olli tells him about how Jo's a psycho and everything is completely over between them. Definitely. 100%. For good.
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Jo has also gone home, to cry about how embarrassed he is for making a fool of himself at the self-defence course, and how he can never show his face in public again.
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Alright, actually he's crying about his ex, Sam. When Sam died, Jo promised he would never love another man in the same way again. But we all know that's a rash promise to make when you live on the same planet as Oliver Sabel.
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today, Bella needs to grow the fuck up is still pissed off with Olli, yet for some reason decides the best way to deal with this is to constantly sit 3ft away from him and glare at him while he's trying to work.
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He has to be there, Bella, it's his job. You could get coffee literally anywhere else in the city. Or in another city, you are unemployed, you have time to travel. Putting space between you might do you both some good. Being constantly less than an arms-length away from him is ridiculous.
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Thankfully Jo turns up to ease the tension. It doesn't really work, what with him being the cause of it all, but it does mean that Bella has to rotate a little on her stool so that she can give both Olli and Jo the cold shoulder at the same time. (Incidentally, I'm not sure if I mentioned it yet, but I really like that Jo is clean-shaven. I worry it might not last though, so much stubble on this show. Everyone seems to gain a beard eventually...I'm hoping Tanja is next.)
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Olli refuses to serve him, because he's annoyed about Jo not enjoying his salty gifts. Jo says he's not here for this shit, and leaves. Good job, Olli and Bella. You are now demonstrably less emotionally mature than that hedonistic man-child.
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So given they were both meaningless one night stands for Jo, Olli tries to reconcile with Bella and bond over their shared experience, but she gets so cross that she accidentally morphs into Andi. It's like a modern day Julia Jekyll and Harriet Hyde.
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Using her new face, she follows Jo to the hospital where she threatens to punch him for being an amoral relationship-ending life-ruiner. Jo says that if he ever sees another member of the Jacob/Sabel/Schneider/Helmke family he is going to emigrate to Australia. You're too clever for this show, Jo.

Meanwhile, real-Andi is having a conversation with Sascha.
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You can tell the real-Andi from the Bella-duplicate-Andi because real-Andi is wearing a blue shirt, while Bella-Andi is wearing white. Real-Andi is convinced he still has a chance to make his relationship with Bella work.
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Sascha tries to point out that Andi doesn't actually have a relationship with Bella anymore, and Bella slept with another man, and dumped him, but Andi is undeterred. See, women are like beer because too much yeast makes them taste funny [/thrush joke], and Sascha wouldn't understand because he drank Olli's wine that one time.
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While Sascha is distracted by his memories, Andi sets the table for a nice romantic breakfast. He's bought Bella's favourite cheese, her favourite bread, her favourite newspaper...
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Nice try, Andi, but we all know the way to a woman's heart is Coco Pops.
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Bella has recovered from her brief spell as an Andi-clone, and is back in her regular body. She's also trying on her lumberjack costume for Halloween. To be honest, most of the rest of the episode is just Andi and Bella, and I don't really have the will or the patience to recap it.
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Olli does appear briefly so that Andi can give him a quick grope, but other than that it's just Andi being pushy and pathetic and showering Bella with gifts and affection until she feels compelled to sleep with him. And then she regrets it afterwards and tells him that really, it's over and it can never happen again. Though Andi does raise an interesting point that if Bella's arguing with Olli, has dumped Andi, and with Charlie out of town, she has literally no one left to talk to about her problems. Bella has no friends. If Jessica or Dana were still around then she might be able to talk to one of them, but even they weren't particularly close. It's a bit weird that the show has only really given her romantic relationships (Tristan, Andi, Jo) and familial ones (Olli, Charlie, her dad), but we never see her interact with women of her own age, except as love rivals. I mean, it's part of a trend the show always has where the younger male (non-Lahnstein) characters all have this little gang of mates (currently Olli/Andi/Sascha/Emilio/Tim), whereas the female characters are a bit more lone... But Bella having no friends at all is a bit extreme.
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Kudos to the director for this incredibly subtle symbolism btw.

Also this week:
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Tim has a new job at LCL. With Caro gone, VL needs a new person to follow in her (and Martha's, and etc's) footsteps and play the role of character-who-has-the-dream-and/or-skill-to-work-in-the-fashion-industry-but-hasn't-had-their-chance-yet-but-will-totally-by-coincidence-get-to-fulfil-their-ambition-at-LCL. Tim is an aspiring photographer, but Rebecca thinks the good photos he has taken were just flukes, so she's asked him to take pics for the new LCL Fruity Green Collection.
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I don't know why I'm giving you all that boring information really, all you need to know is that to achieve his dream he decides he needs Sascha with his shirt off (...I think maybe Caro left some post-its with handy hints for him).
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And in other news, Olli put on Frank's bowtie for him.
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I'm considering making these weekly posts rather than episode specific ones, because with my job I just don't have time to update after every individual episode like I used to, so I end up just posting several posts at the weekend anyway. But if it's a whole week's worth then the posts might get very long and unwieldy... So I suppose my question is, do you prefer one long post, or a few smaller ones?
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today, Olli still being beaten up by the homophobic dicks outside the luxury restaurant.
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He's in a pretty bad way, but thankfully sexy Doctor Jo is not only a sexy doctor, he is also a crime-fighting ninja.
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He captures the seemingly nastiest, despite being least threatening looking, of the trio of homophobic dicks (I'm excluding the 12 year old one, on the basis that, as [livejournal.com profile] mona1984 pointed out, he is probably dealing with his own issues right now). Having scared them away with his gargoyle face, he tends to Olli.
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This provokes a flashback to a memory from Jo's past, which appears to be a similar situation, except it is not Olli who is hurt, but some other guy. Called Säm, apparently. (...Olli/Säm OTP! Make it happen show, or I will spam you and thousands of other people with petitions and whinging and junk until you give in or have me sectioned. Smolli forever!)
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Anyway, this flashback leaves Jo in such a state of panic, that he forgets all of his medical training and starts to undress.
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Thankfully a man stripping is the number one way to bring Olli back to full consciousness, and his head injury doesn't seem too bad.
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I mean, he does seem pretty confused and out of it, but that is probably mostly due to Jo suddenly being more affectionate and reassuring and caring to Olli than even when Olli might have had dengue fever. "Don't worry, I'm with you now. Everything's fine, I won't leave you." "...Are you crying?"
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Too bad he's thinking of someone else, really.

At the hospital, Charlie is very worried about Olli (any neurologists reading this, given Olli had that head trauma thing and surgery and aneurysm or blood spout or whatever last time he was gaybashed, does he have a higher risk of severer damage after head injuries now?), Tim is confident Olli will be fine, and Bella is hoping Olli will be fine so she only looks like a half-despicable human being when she still holds a grudge about all the Jo stuff even though her brother was just beaten unconscious.
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Seriously, Charlie asks why anyone would beat Olli up, and Bella rolls her eyes. She doesn't even know if he's okay yet!
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He is actually basically fine, thanks to Florence Nightinhelmke tending to his wounds, checking his brain scans, and only poking him in the eye once.
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Olli is feeling guilty about how his argument with Bella ruined Frank's birthday though, but Jo tells him no one can blame Olli for having had sex with an unbelievably sexy doctor.
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I do like a man who can laugh at his own flaws.

Anyway, Jo presents the now more or less fully-mended Olli to his family outside.
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Oh, I wouldn't to handsy there in front of Bella, Jo... Or start talking about how thoroughly you examined him...
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If looks could kill. Not really a "thank God my brother's okay"-face. Bella pretends she has a job now and storms off, probably to listen to My Chemical Romance songs and cry into her skinny jeans about how life isn't fair and Olli's such a bitch. Charlie follows, because she missed out on the teenage years the first time around so she feels it's her duty to make up for lost time. Tim meanwhile has a brief tactlessness shortfall and implies that Bella won't forgive Olli for 1000 years and that Jo is Bella's wife. In retaliation, Jo cockblocks Tim's attempt to take Olli home with him by saying Olli still needs ~supervision, and starts rumours about the diminutive size of Tim's manhood.
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Jo brings him home himself, but declines Olli's offer to come in for a drink or anything else. Apparently he has lots of unpacking to do, because he just moved into Thore's old flat. I don't know much about Düsseldorf property prices, but I would have thought that a doctor (and a fashion designer like Thore as well, tbh) could afford to rent something nicer than a dank, dingy loft.
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But Jo must like it because he's very eager to get back there, leaving Olli to deal with Bella on his own.
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He doesn't even get chance to change out of his slightly blood-stained shirt before Bella is all "HOW DARE YOU SLEEP WITH THE MAN I LURVE! HE'S MINE HE'S MINE HE'S MINE! I SAW HIM FIRST! I LOVED HIM FIRST!" and Olli is still too brain-damaged to realise those things aren't true, so he apologises.
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Bella is not in a forgiving mood though, because we all know how much she despises imagined infidelity (Andi/Alexa, Jo/Olli)...real infidelity (Jo/Bella, Jo/Mrs Frank) is of course morally fine. Olli tells her he's in love with Jo too, and Bella tells him Jo is just using him like the cheap ho he is. In fairness, this is basically exactly the same conversation that Olli and Bella have been having for weeks, except now it's Olli being all "I really have a chance with him!" and Bella being all "I don't think so.", except Bella seems harsher because she has no interest in being kind or tactful or sugarcoat-y at this point. Also, because as an audience we know Jo does have more affection for Olli than Bella, but Bella and Olli don't really have any reason to know that, it's set-up to make Olli look more reasonable and Bella look completely ridiculous. And, you know, Olli really should have told Bella that he had slept with Jo. So it's amazing that in spite of all these mitigating factors, Bella still comes across as a complete cow.

Later, Sascha comes into check on Olli, and share some subtext-laden wisdom about things you shouldn't do, but you still those things, even though you know they're bad for you. And about how all great romances start with you getting beaten up #healthyrelationships
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Also, he tries to change Olli's forehead plaster. But we all know that changing Olli's forehead plaster is a job reserved only for his true love, i.e., Christian, and apparently now Jo. But not Sascha. All those aboard ship Scholli, come in, your time is up.
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Over in Thore's old place, Jo is busy unpacking, and finding things that do not bring back good memories. I assume this DVD was a very terrible film, because just seeing the box again sends him into such a rage that he has to release his aggression through boxing.
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Despite Jo being busy and having told Olli that he's busy, Olli heads on over to Jo's flat with housewarming gifts. Bread and salt. Apparently it's traditional. You know, in Britain, we're more with booze and chocolates or maybe flowers as moving in presents, but whatever. Jo might be a secret Brit because he's thoroughly unimpressed too, especially when Olli starts asking why his nipples are on sideways.
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Jo tells him to fuck off, so Olli's lower lip wobbles and he says "but...but...I thought you cared" and runs away sobbing.
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You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Olli was in the show on Wednesday and Thursday, but only to chastise Tim for playing his music too loud and then assist with the search for Emilio. Everyone was worried about Emilio because they thought he might commit suicide, what with his wife having cheated on him, his food-van being shut down, and the loansharks threatening to kill him the day afterwards anyway. At the last moment, Emilio's life was saved by an incredibly selfish tramp, and Kim and Sascha were saved from lives of guilt. So, on to Friday...

Today, Olli is having a dream about sexy doctor Jo.
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(Just because I'm too lazy to put inverted commas around sexy anymore, doesn't mean they're not still there in spirit.)
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Unlike Bella's childish fantasies of being taken in No Limits, Olli much maturely dreams of playing doctor.
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Frank and Charlie tell him if he's going to knock one out at the table, then they're going to stop inviting him around for breakfast. Frank tries to communicate "meet me later when the wife's not around" through blinking morse code, but unfortunately it gets misinterpreted, and instead everyone organises a birthday party for Frank with his brothers whom he despises.
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Bella dresses up for the event because she has plans to make another move on Jo. Olli tries to dissuade her from this by specifically not telling her why it's a terrible idea, and then being confused why "but he doesn't seem very nice", "I think he doesn't like commitment" and "I heard he once was the third party to some infidelity 10 years ago" don't fully convince her that she doesn't have a chance.
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Especially as Jo is currently in full-on charm offensive mode, driving Bella around in his sports car, stroking her hair, and telling her fuckable she looks. Somehow this seems a stronger signal than Olli in jelly bear mode, so she keeps her hopes up and accidentally outs Olli to a group of homophobes playing football.
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Now, I'm sorry, but this is meant to be a classy restaurant that they're going to, but there's a gang of thugs playing football on the street outside. Would the restauant not get them to go away? And furthermore, these guys look about 30-40 years old, surely they would have better things to be doing in the middle of the day?
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Inside, Jo is doing his best impression of an Animorphs book cover for Frank. (You know what I love about the VL fandom? When I criticise Sascha I'm apparently a bitter Chrolli fan, when I criticise Jo I'm apparently a bitter Scholli fan, and when I criticise Christian I'm "[getting caught up] in new Jolli bullshit". A circular chain of bias that I fear can never be escaped. ...Maybe I should do a post on my preferred Olli-ships to clarify my genuine stance on things. (Spoiler alert: none of those three would be in it.) Or I could stop just paying attention to idiots. That second option appeals more to my lazy streak, but would mean I'd have to leave Andi out of all future recaps :((( )
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The meal doesn't go well. Frank and Jo argue, Tim gets involved, Charlie gets involved, Bella and Olli have their own argument going on (Bella wanted to sit next to Jo, but Olli ships Jo/Tim so orchestrated it for them to sit next to each other, which pisses Bella off).
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Olli and Bella realise they don't want their argument to be overheard, so they ingeniously move four metres away from the table to ensure total privacy. Olli tells Bella that Jo is bi. Bella tells Olli that he's a moron. Olli yells that he shagged Jo. Frank asks why Jo will happily sleep with every one of his relatives, but not him?!
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(Any reluctance I had about shipping that seems to have evaporated at some point, not sure why.... #eyesex)
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Tim has important questions to ask. Namely "How long have you been gay? Why didn't you tell me? How long before we can get some Helmke-cest up in this joint?"
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Charlie has a brief powernap while this is happening, to boost her energy for the industrial amounts of Bella-comforting she'll have to do later. Not easy being a mother to a 13 year old girl stuck in a 30 year old's body. Frank excuses himself, because he needs to go and bone Elisabeth (I mean, "protect her person (with his penis)"). Bella naturally storms off too. Charlie, newly refreshed, follows her. Olli fills up on carbs. It's all pretty dramatic.
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Meanwhile, Jo tries to sneak out through the kitchen.
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Olli stops him, because he has something to say. In short: Jo's an arsehole. Longer version: Jo is a terrible human being for constantly leading people on, and then blaming them for getting their hopes up, and he shouldn't keep flirting with Bella when he had no intention of taking things further, and he's ruined Frank's birthday, which Charlie tries so hard to make nice, and it's not fair to treat people like crap or to act like developing feelings for someone is a character flaw, and if wants people to treat sex like him as casual and meaningless then he should stop being so good at it, the bastard.
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Jo asks if Olli isn't maybe a little jealous.
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And Olli says no, because he could sleep with Bella anytime too no, because Jo now has the pleasure of trying to apologise to Charlie, and no one could envy that job.
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Oh yeah, babe. Rock that bitchiness.
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After that Jo leaves, and then the most adorable chef in Germany offers Olli a lollipop. Olli/Chef OTP (...I'm only 20% joking with that).
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Olli goes outside, where he encounters the world's oldest yobs again. Though I notice now the one at the back does seem to be of reasonable hanging-around-on-street-corners age. Maybe he's the bald one's son?
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Whoever he is, he's the only one who doesn't actually join in the beating up of Olli... :/
You can watch this ep with English subtitles on this Youtube playlist here.

Today, I find that I am liking Dr Jo a little more than I was before.
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But obviously everyone seems better with an Olli attached to their face, so it's not really a fair comparison. I will have to wait until he's put Olli down, and then I will see what I think then.
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...I don't remember what I was waiting for any more.

In the other flat, Bella knows exactly what she's waiting for.
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Her The Simpsons: Tapped Out game still hasn't finished loading updates, and I feel her pain. How are we supposed to get enough Trick or Treat bags to unlock the Grand Pumpkin by Halloween if the game keeps stopping? Also Jo hasn't phoned her yet, even though she specifically gave him her phone number, and has also texted him 16 times, and poked him on Facebook, and sent him an invite on Ello.
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Charlie says that wooing a man was easier in her day, before all this complicated modern communication. You just wrote "you up for it? meet me behind the cricket pavillion at half six", tied your note to a carrier pigeon, and waited to see who turned up.

The next morning, Bella is in bed with Olli.
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Now I'm not saying I don't like incest (because if I did, a 20 second glance into my Porn folder would prove me to be lying), but this is all getting a bit much. I'm beginning to feel like the Olli/Jo/Bella love triangle has three sides. Anyway, Bella is all like "omg, you had sex?! while I was sat at home all lonely, you're such a fail-brother".
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Olli says "yes, but not for the reason you think". But Bella doesn't hear him, because she's busy talking about how Jo probably had a night shift which is the only reason he wouldn't have phoned her. She then decides actually she does want to know all about Olli's liaison, and starts asking incredibly personal questions about his name, appearance and girth.
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Olli tries to distract her with an enthusiastic game of There Were Ten In The Bed And The Little One Said Roll Over, but it fails, so he takes her out jogging instead.
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How many pairs of capri pants does Olli have in his wardrobe, that's what I want to know. I feel like I've commented on heterosexual sleeve-length before in relation to Olli's attire, but it's a subject that might need revisiting...
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Anyway, Olli tries to tell Bella about how Jo is at least bi, and he definitely likes men as well, but Bella thinks Olli is a delusional fantasist and is certain that Jo is totally into her.
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Olli says that's a bit weird, because he didn't mention her at all when he was fucking him. So Bella takes Olli back to No Limits and stabs him brutally in the stomach, spattering the entire shop with his blood and entrails...
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Oh wait, that was just a dream. Olli's, not mine. If it were mine it would be Bella being stabbe- Alright, calm down, Taversham.

Back in real life (...I mean, the canonically real timeline of this fictional world), Bella is unwilling to listen to Olli's continued attempts to tell her about his night with Jo. Olli makes one last effort, but he's interrupted by a certain sexy doctor. Jo is there because he left his wallet behind in Olli's bedroom, and Olli is very relived because he thought Jo had mistaken him for a rentboy and had left it there as payment. Olli is less relieved though, that now he has to pretend to Bella that he and Jo have not slept together, and maintaining a pretence is his number one least good skill.
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Jo: "Hi, Olli."
Olli: "Hi...Jo, is it? I nearly didn't recognise you with your clothes on... I mean, your street clothes, I've only ever seen you before dressed in your sexy doctor's uniform. That is, not sexy, but sophisticated. I haven't once thought about your cock."
Jo: "Did I leave my wallet here?"
Olli: "You mean, here, in No Limits, where you once visited for a coffee that time and have at no other point been in the building? Not even to sleep with anyone."
Jo: "Sure."
Olli: "It's possible. I will check in Lost Property, because it is definitely not in my pocket."
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But it must be a convincing performance, because Bella just giggles obliviously through the whole thing, and eyes up sexy doctor Jo. Jo asks to see how her hand is healing, and tells her she needs to go to her follow-up appointment at the hospital. Bella thinks this is a date. Now, I'm not an expert, but I doubt even doctors who are immensely fond of their work would consider tending someone's wound as a date. Maybe I just don't understand Jo the way Bella does.
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Turns out Olli is the first to arrive at the hospital, because he had a hankering for icecream that only a hospital canteen can sate. While he's there, he just happens to bump into sexy doctor Jo, who congratulates him on his fine performance earlier, and invites him to join the hospital amateur dramatic society.
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Olli says he can't hurt Bella. She's his sister, and she thinks she's going to have a proper relationship with Jo. Jo says that's her fault, she shouldn't have got her hopes up, and he was clear from the start that nothing could happen between them. He also asks if Olli has got his hopes up too.
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Olli says he hasn't, but asks if Jo has.
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And this is the moment where I consider myself to be officially warming to Jo, because he hesitates for a second, dodges the question, and then suggests that he and Olli carry on sleeping together.
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Only for no strings attached, casual, commitment-free shagging, not a relationship. But for someone who barely a week ago said he only slept with people one time, out of principle, I'd say that's a step forward.
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Bella's at the hospital too now, as is sexy Dr OneEp, who evidently I misnamed. Sexy Dr TwoEps it now is. Anyway, Bella is there to have her date/appointment/session with Dr Jo.
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Unfortunately for Bella, Receptionist JolliShipper is on duty, and tells her Jo isn't on duty in that department, he's in surgery all day. Bella is all like "oh, was there an emergency that meant he had to switch to that department and that is why he does not want to see my sexy festering hand?" and the receptionist is like "soz, love". She offers to get Bella an appointment with a different doctor, but Bella tells her to forget it. I hope this will be addressed in the next ep when Bella dies of gangrene. Poor Bella.
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Back at home, Bella is comforted by her supportive, caring big brother, who may or may not have just arranged another hook-up with Jo behind Bella's back. And I mean that literally, because he's sexting over Bella's shoulder.