Last Saturday (17th May), I went to see the ISIHAC Theatre Tour in Colston Hall, Bristol. I always seem to get a little bit lost when I get the train into Bristol, the station is just close enough to the centre for me to think "I can walk that in 15 mins, a bus would be waste of time and money" but just far enough away for me to take the wrong road at some point. I didn't mind too much though, it was lovely and sunny and warm (21C, warmer than Corfu according to the Express and Echo), so it wasn't a chore to wander around a bit longer. There was also a Bristol Cycle Rally going on, which seemed to be causing a bit of friction amongst other road users. Primarily between cyclists involved in the Rally, and cyclists who weren't. Much bellowing of "The road's not just for you, you know?!", etc.

Anyway, the showww. I didn't record it or anything because between the DVD and CDs I think most of the material they did is actually already commercially available. Also, my phone with which I potentially could have recorded it were I to be such a copyright infringing hooligan died about 20 minutes before the show started, so I couldn't even get pictures. Consequently this post is a summary based on what I remember, and because of the imprecise nature of the human memory bits may not be in the right order, like, at all, and there are definitely bits missing but possibly also bits added that I imagined, especially as I'm writing this up over a week after I actually saw it (I should have done it earlier, only my internet access has been so sporadic this last week and a half), and what is here may be inaccurate. But anyway, here's a brief (or not) summary of what was in the show, with some thoughts/observations/whatever, and notes of which specific episodes the bits they used were from if I know. It's mostly for my own reference to be honest, but who knows, someone else might be interested :)

Part One
Warm up
For the sake of brevity and because you don't really lose much by experiencing them in this highly shortened format, the punchlines to Jon's warm-up jokes were "he's a fun guy", "Thora Hird", "The parrot said 'Hello, Keith!'", "Mum, he said yes!", and...at least one other, I've forgotten.

Introductions
Intro started off location specific (using bits of the intros from shows S47E01 and S47E02 recorded in Bristol), quickly broadened to jokes about other locations. The explanations for Samantha not being here were the "jury duty"/"hardened ones being put away by the Yard" one (from S30E03), the "stairlift"/"pulling him off on the landing" one (from S30E05), and the "Italian icecream"/"licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan" one (from S38E03) (plus another which I've forgotten...this is a running theme). During the Samantha gags, Barry looks faux-outraged, while Graeme has a look of "I really don't see why you're laughing" but sometimes can't maintain it. In general, when Jack was reading the intro jokes, Tim and Jeremy would watch him, while Graeme was looking out at the audience, and Barry was *eyes everywhere*.

One Song To The Tune Of Another
Barry - The Laughing Policeman to the Dam Busters Theme
With war noises, "this is squadron leader", etc from Jeremy. And Graeme got his Swanee whistle out to do falling bomb noises.
Tim - Girlfriend In a Coma to Tiptoe Through the Tulips (originally from S45E03, by Tony Hawks, but you can see Tim do it on the DVD, and recently on the One Show)
Jeremy - My Humps to I Vow To Thee My Country (from S56E01)
Graeme - Killing Me Softly to The Can Can (from S60E03)

Lost Correspondence
Jack's description from S56E01
Isambard Kingdom Brunel (Barry and Graeme) to Queen Victoria (Tim and Jeremy) about tunnels (like S60E01)
Isambard wrote to the Queen to tell her about his enormous and capacious and small tunnel. Barry facepalmed a lot during this game when Graeme tricked him and/or forced him into saying a list, especially when Graeme undercut his attempts to do it back. E.g. when Graeme got Barry to list ports, B "Devon" G "cream!". When Barry thought he'd finally got Graeme by saying "and", Graeme just added "also". Sometimes Graeme will respond to what he thinks Barry should have said, not what Barry actually said, leaving them in a tangle, and Tim looks very confused/annoyed when Graeme and Barry descend into gibberish. They traded "and"-"furthermore"s.
Victoria wrote to "Izzy" to ask him to build a conservatory on her castle's patio.
Tim and Jeremy just make each other corpse constantly. And kept mishearing each other. Jeremy's Victoria voice started off quite high and queeny (as it were) but by the end he was just talking pretty much normally. Tim naturally stayed totally in character throughout, as you would expect of a woman of his quality.

Mottos
inc. Barry - Former French Maritime Association "A l'eau, c'est la" (or something phonetically similar...)

Complete Adverts
inc. "Softness is a thing called..." Graeme "Erectile dysfunction"
"The stain says hot, the label says..." Graeme "Don't listen to the talking stain."
"Monsieur, with these Ferrero Roche, you are really..." Graeme "Scraping the barrel"
If you're wondering why I remember more of what Graeme said than the others, it's because...I like Graeme more than them. Also, where I was sat was an Obstructed View seat on the far left (which you don't even get a discount for, the outrage!) which meant I was basically sat in exactly Graeme and Barry's eyeline because they were faced towards downstage right (ish), but for Tim and Jeremy most of the time I could only see the side of their heads so it was harder to focus on what they said. But mostly it's just the liking Graeme more thing.

Censored Songs
Julie Andrews Songbook (Heard previously in I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again s7e11 "20,000 Leaks Under The Sea" broadcast 26th April 1970 listen here, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue S05E01, S17E01, S31E01, S42E03, and The Goodies: Still Alive on Stage show, and I assume anywhere else they could squeeze it in in the last 44 years ;) )
Barry - Wouldn't It Be Lovely, My Favourite Things (Graeme censoring)
Tim - Whistle A Happy Tune, I Could Have Danced All Night (Jeremy censoring)

In My Pants
A combination of the "In My Pants" game (broadcast S55E02) where film titles had to be suffixed with "In My Pants" and the "Sausages" game (broadcast S53E01) where Jack had to answer whatever questions the panellists asked with "sausages". The winner was Jeremy with There Will Be Blood "in my pants".

Waiters/Restaurant Scene (from S51E05)
In the radio version, Tim was Charles the man and Phill Jupitus was Deirdre the woman, but for the show Tim gets to be the girl with Jeremy as the man. Tim had a rather fetching pink alice band/head ornament thing to signify this. Graeme and Barry have switched (some) of their lines around too, so the stage version is more Tim/Graeme flirting, whereas the radio is Barry/Phill.
Graeme: "Would you prefer a fruity '69?"
Tim: "Yes!"
Graeme had a wig too. And Tim wiggled his hairband at him.

Just a Minim
This Old House (from S47E02, S54E01)
Jeremy cracked up when Jack called him incompetent. Tim did his "deviation from the tune" challenge, Graeme did his "repetition of a hesitation" challenge, but really we're here for Jack being Nicholas Parsons which was perfect as always. Especially when he gets all shouty at Graeme, and Graeme just lols. (That said, given this show was sort of presented as a "Best of ISIHAC", I really think Graeme could bring back his Kenneth Williams impression (cf. S09E02 Just a Minim - The Umbrella Song, amongst others), or at least his Clement Freud one.)

Pensioners' Songbook (some as in S41E06, some on the DVD)
inc. Barry "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag"
Barry "These Shoes Were Made In Dorking"
Graeme "Now The Are Three Steps To... what did I come up here for?"

Part Two
Trails
various, inc. Wallis and Vomit (from S54E01)
They had these recorded by actual continuity announcers from various radio stations, including a couple by BBC Radio Bristol. But given Radio Bristol has genuinely used the trailer "Do you need help looking after your bush?" to plug its gardening segment in the past, I think it was ahead of the game.

Uxbridge English Dictionary
Barry did his usual "tw-" words from Yorkshire.
Graeme and Jeremy exchanged "Geordie" words, Graeme "warbling - Geordie jewellery", Jeremy "hamas - what Geordies use to put in nails", Graeme "cannibalistic - stealth missile in Newcastle".

Pick Up Song
Barry - Viva Las Vegas (Elvis)
Graeme - Blowing In The Wind (Bob Dylan) (watch here)
Jack "Nobody likes a smartarse, Graeme."
Tim - Wrecking Ball (Miley Cyrus) (from S60E02)
Jeremy - So Lonely (The Police) (from S56E02)
Jack winced when Jeremy's voice cracked.
They were all more (Graeme) or less (Barry, Tim, Jeremy) exactly in time when the music came back on, but honestly, when they're doing the same songs repeatedly for the tour, it'd be almost more impressive to me for them to be completely off. Graeme coming in three or four bars off for Blowing In The Wind would take proper effort.

Sound Charades
Tim and Jeremy - Dirty Harry (from S39E02, and DVD)
Barry and Graeme - Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (from S47E02, and DVD)
Tim and Jeremy - The Sopranos (from S36E06)
Barry and Graeme - Braveheart (from S46 Fringe Special, and DVD)
Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo is one of my favourite Barry/Graeme Sound Charades ever, just for the "Does she produce the honey herself?" "...No. That's not nature's way." exchange, so always a pleasure to see/hear it (incidentally, my other favourites are their Holmesian Seinfeld, The Cane Mutiny for audacity, and The Ipcress File for the barrage of innuendo and Tim's disbelief that it wasn't over yet).
Slight criticism, if they insist on pretending the other team don't know the answer when they clearly do, maybe they could write some better "guessing" material. But I'm being picky.

Karaoke-cokey
The Sun Has Got His Hat On Graeme guessed, "And you're all fired!"
I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester They all knew. (As a proud Devonian, I think that second one was even more racist, but what can you do...)
Special Extra Bonus Spoiler Warning, you may not want to read the rest of this paragraph if you are going to the show but have not seen it yet. If you don't know, everyone in the audience has a kazoo and we have to play the song on those (an upgrade to the tradition version with humming). For the second song they all had lots of trouble guessing it though, so Jack tried various eliminations of people to get a clearer~ message through, "just the stalls", "just the women", etc, until "just the people with blue kazoos" which happened to be one single lady. I actually wasn't going to share that because I thought it might potentially ruin it for others, but a) I did put two spoiler warnings on this, and b) it's key to understanding the favourite thing I overheard while leaving the theatre: "The lady with a blue kazoo was clearly a plant though." "Yeah, I think it was Samantha."

Mornington Crescent
With Satnav, Montague's Loop
I did try and remember what stations they said, but that didn't work out.
At the beginning they went in and out of Finsbury a bit, which was justified because of the looping.
Jack "I cannot allow any part of [Graeme] in Nip", Barry "No.".
Tim "No conferring!"
Graeme "We weren't!"
Barry "I was just commentating."
Graeme "Yeah... What did you say?"
At one point Tim said Fairlop.
At the end, Barry won (....I think).

Complete Quotes
Barry and Graeme - Cherie Blair (from S51E06)
Tim and Jeremy - Paul Daniels (from S44E06, originally Tim and Jack)

Quiz of Quizzes (from S36E06, and the DVD)
Some bits changed (the Phone a Friend bit went, none of the Countdown stuff was there, but a round of Connections was added so Graeme could explain that "The Hen", "The Bear" and "The Queen" etc are sexual positions, originally from episode S41E04). They all nominated Colin at the end, instead of Anne Robinson.

"Encore"/Swanee Kazoo
Medley, ending with We'll Meet Again. (watch a slightly different, festive version here)
Tim and Graeme on the Swanee Whistles, Barry and Jeremy and the audience on kazoos. Jack contributes on his mandolin. During We'll Meet Again, Barry and Jeremy had their arms around each other which was cute. (Tim and Graeme on the other hand had about 12 yards of space between them. It's like they don't even want me to ship them, I don't get it...)


If you don't fancy the spoilers, then just enjoy the picture of these dashing chappies, and maybe go and see the show yourself to enjoy them irl.

Jeremy Hardy, Colin Sell, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Jack Dee, Barry Cryer
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